I Can't Watch the State of the Union

Last night Carrie and I had a meeting at our church, but even if we didn't, I wouldn't have watched President Bush's State of the Union address. It's not that I'm unpatriotic or even ambivilent. I'm very interested in the what Bush has to say about the country.

It's the applause. It gets to me.

Regardless of the President, his party will stop to interrupt his speech at least once every couple of minutes with applause for finishing a sentence. Doesn't matter what he's saying. He could be describing the new budget or the contents of his shorts, his party will stand and cheer.

I don't know when it started, but I first noticed it with Clinton, cheering for anything and everything that came out of his mouth. I thought the Democrats were bad with him, but the Republicans are even worse. "My fellow Amuricans, before I got here tonight, I sneezed into my hankie. What came out looked like a sad clown. Wanna see?"

Oh, how I would dearly love for the next POTUS to stand up there and say, "Please hold your applause until the end of the speech," and actually hold the gallery to it. As it is, the applause makes a boring 30 minute speech into an irritating 90 minute speech.

Maybe if the President had visual aids. Powerpoint, a little CGI... something! "Unemployment is at a 30 year low, as you can see by the card held by my lovely assistant Bambi."

When I read the speech this afternoon, I think I'll take a bathroom break after every other paragraph. After all, that's what I do when it's on TV.