The continuing chronicle of Wesley's quest to be published; plus comments on popular culture, family life, and whatever else falls out of his head.

Friday, November 18, 2005

Is It Really the Weather?

After my meeting with Maison the other day, I was in panic mode. I was depressed, despondent, paranoid. I wanted to curl up and cry. I stayed up until 3:30 this morning working on lyric-blocking so Maison could work on setting light cues this weekend.

But I'm not tired. I'm in a decent mood. Nothing really has changed, except for the fact that I woke up to sunshine this morning and the past several days have been dreary and darkly overcast all day.

I've known--or I guess I should say "I've assumed," since I don't have any emprical evidence backing me up--that gray weather affects my mood more extremely than it does most people. But to see it swing so far in less than 12 hours with no real change in circumstance other than the (semi-)completion of one project is surprising even to me. After just three hours of sleep, I'm in a pretty decent mood. Getting a little tired and yawny at this point, but that's to be expected.

But I'm not DEPRESSED. I'm not especially anxious or panicky.

The only thing I can presume is that God is taking the anxiety away from me. Because, honestly, there's no reason for me to NOT be anxious right now. I'm going to be getting a call from Maison later on today telling me that what I submitted to him is totally unacceptable, and I'll have to spend another twelve hours working on something new.

And I'm okay with that. I've given this anxiety back to God, and He's accepted it. I know others are praying for me, and that God will "Bless this mess."

Now I just have to get my hanging angels on board, fix the crucifixion and resurrection, and I'll be golden.


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