The continuing chronicle of Wesley's quest to be published; plus comments on popular culture, family life, and whatever else falls out of his head.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Kicks

I get on certain Kicks when it comes to things like writing. I do it regularly, every day, super disciplined, for months at a time. Then WHAMMO I can't look at it for an equal amount of time. Sometimes longer.

Always seems to happen. This time was incited when I had my gum operation back in March and was out to lunch for three days, and caught a nasty cold and was out for a few more. About a week in total I was totally miserable and didn't do a thing I didn't have to. Stayed in bed whenever possible. Didn't write, didn't read my Bible, didn't do much of anything.

But once I began to feel better, I still didn't do anything. And that's the problem. I can be going really good, and then droop it completely for months, and then dread going back to it at all. When I had that operation, I broke all of my New Year's Resolutions at once:

Journaling
Fiction Writing
Agent/Market Research
Bible Reading
Bible Memorization (almost forgot that one)
Prayer
Excercise
Dieting

With the help (read "arm-twisting") of my wife, I've gotten back into the agent research, which is encouraging me to write, a little. I've got a duothlon on Sunday that's kicking my butt into gear with exercise (That's 4k-18k-4k or approximately 2.5m-15m-1.5m).

But the rest of it is up to me. I spend a lot of my free time at work at the Talk@newsarama boards, but that's no excuse for not journaling more often.

I like journaling. I enjoy journaling. I need journaling, because when I don't, I don't have any space to vent, then I get really cranky and defensive with the wife. I need to write just as an escape.

And yet... when I step away from it for just a few days, it seems almost impossible to get back into it.

Bible reading is easy. Regular prayer is not. It's almost impossible for me, but I've got to stop making it so difficult for myself by putting pressure on myself, and just get back into the habit.

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