The continuing chronicle of Wesley's quest to be published; plus comments on popular culture, family life, and whatever else falls out of his head.

Friday, March 11, 2005

Inertia

Inertia is defined by Webster's New College Dictionary as: "1. The tendency of a body to resist acceleration, as the tendency of a body at rest to remain at rest or of a body in motion to stay in motion in a straight line unless disturbed by an external force. 2. Resistance to change or motion."

In this day and age where everybody comes from a dysfunctional family and all our kids are ADD, I won't admit I 'suffer' from depression, but I will say that I get depressed every once and a while (usually on days like I've had this past week, where the weather is just gray and gloomy), but what I really suffer from is inertia, in the emotional sense. When I'm not doing anything productive, I tend to want to stay that way. I've been noticing on Sundays, especially, when I sit down in front of the TV, I don't move for a couple of hours.

I said all that to say this: My inertia has been really bad this week. At work I've pretty much done absolutely nothing for the past week, maybe two. Haven't done my Bible reading, and I'm slow around the house, having difficulty focusing on anything.

At work it's been the most noticeable, because I'm spending all day playing on message boards and avoiding my bankers, but I don't think I've done more than maybe an hour of real work all week.

I haven't posted here or in my other blogs in several weeks. Just too bored, you know.

And at home, all we ever seem to do is work on the library. The strain is really beginning to show on both of us. Carrie is snappish and I'm sullen. We're both cranky. Last night was especially frustrating as we re-drywalled one wall, and had to deal with all sorts of complications due to poor planning and rushing through. But we finished what we needed to finish, and hopefully, prayerfully, we'll be over the hump and looking at the backside of our construction. We better be, because once the weather's nice enough to go outside, Carrie's going to go ballistic if she can't play in her gardens.

As for me, I'm moving, slowly, just trying to catch up the old things I promised myself I would do: Bible reading and memorization every day, working out twice a day, journalling or writing when I can. But it's tough. What I really want to do is sit in a comfy chair and not do anything: no writing, no reading, no TV; just sit and stare and wish I had the energy to do something else.

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