The continuing chronicle of Wesley's quest to be published; plus comments on popular culture, family life, and whatever else falls out of his head.

Friday, May 13, 2005

It's been basically a good day.

Work was productive, but not so productive that I couldn't slack. I got a lot done. While I wasn't able to finish a full 2.5 miles, like I'll need for Sunday, I do think I came close to two miles. Which isn't bad. Rain prevented us from mowing the lawn at all tonight, so we stayed inside for the rest of the night and watched Garden State.

It wasn't as good as I thought it would be. Maybe I'm getting old, but it seems like any kind of drug reference in a movie turns me off anymore. This guy who is a struggling actor in Hollywood gets a call from his dad telling him that his mom has died and he has to come home for the funeral. He hasn't been home or spoken to his dad or any of his friends in nine years. While he's finally starting to grow up, his friends have given themselves over to hedonism, but they're not enjoying it. It's just a lifestyle. There's a lot of uncomfortable silences between Large (Zack Branff) and his friends. The movie wasn't glorifying drug use at all, but it was depressing to see what kind of losers his friends had become. One worked as a gravedigger, but he stripped the corpses of jewelry after the funeral, before he buried them. Another was wealthy beyond his comprehension, but he was so bored that the only thing that he could think to do was get stoned constantly.

When you choose to party as a lifestyle, it becomes a job like anything else, and ceases to be fun.

Maybe it bothered me because it reminded me too much of my brother, who has chosen that lifestyle, and is also bored and unfulfilled, but doesn't know what else to do but to live for himself. Doesn't even know how to treat his own children, he's so hooked into his own world.

That's sad. I don't want to talk about that anymore.

***

Sunday I have a race. A duothlon. 4K-30K-4K. I still can't do the 4K foot race, much less two. But I'm committed.

It's in Mansfield Ohio at 7:30 in the morning, and I have until 12:30 to finish. I think I can do that, but there's only one way to find out. Am I nervous? Yeah. But I made a promise to myself, and to my friends who promised to keep me accountable to race with me later in the year.

Right now, I just wish I was on the other side of the finish tape.

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