Feelings on Non-Rejection

Seeing that you have e-mail waiting from you from a person who could either spell the beginning or the end of your writing career, but not being able to access that e-mail. This should be the definition of Hell.

When I got to to work this morning and I saw that e-mail from Carolyn Grayson sitting in my Yahoo.com mailbox, but not able to access my yahoomail from work. That was emotional torture. And taking the walk out to my car, and then the drive to the library, practically chanting "It's probably nothing," to myself over and over and over again, very nearly killed me. My family has a history of heart problems. And, although I don't tell Carrie this, there have been times when my chest has felt the pressure, and I wonder Is this what a heart attack feels like? This morning was one of those times. It wasn't a real pain (although I've had those, too), but just a lot of adrenaline pumping through my muscles with nowhere to go.